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EPISODE 2: FACTORS IN ENMESHMENT

EPISODE 2: FACTORS IN ENMESHMENT

This video will explore the different factors that may contribute to family enmeshment in Filipino households. It will discuss how family environment, external factors, and individual experiences can play a part in shaping enmeshed parent-child dynamics.
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KEY TAKEAWAYS

FAMILY ENVIRONMENT

A child’s family environment may factor into the enmeshment a child experiences.

PARENT-CHILD DYNAMICS

Parentification – Children may take on roles beyond their age, such as caring for siblings, managing household tasks on their parents’ behalf.
Emotional Dependence – Children are depended on by their parents for emotional support or to act as a “pseudo-therapist” wherein they are made to diffuse family conflicts or act as scapegoat for family members’ personal issues.
Infantilization – Children are overprotected by their guardians to the point that they are stunted in essential life skills. Guardians also have a tendency of undermining their capabilities and making decisions for the child.
Overinvolvement – Guardians may micromanage a child’s schedule, invade the child’s privacy. They also expect the child to have the same beliefs and desires, tailoring a child’s life to fit what they want rather than letting the child decide for themselves.

FAMILY VALUES
Family dynamics may look different from family to family, but each family shares a similar pattern like a lack of boundaries, open communication, and age-appropriate responsibilities.

EXTERNAL FACTORS

Family dynamics are also influenced by society, culture, and communities that the family is a part of and because parents often pass down what they grew up with, this can shape how children are expected to think or behave.

AGEISM

Being younger is often used as a way to openly discourage children from forming different opinions, insights, or having unconventional displays of self-expression.


In Filipino families, it is noted that there is a perception that if you are older, you are seen as more mature, experienced, and wise. This results in older family members carrying more influence in the family, leading to younger members being overlooked

GENERATION GAP

What family members believe could be radically different due to a combination of factors such as differing social norms, political or economic climates, and different lived experiences.

SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS

If you grew up with more financial security, you may have had more opportunities to explore your interests, along with less responsibilities, while those who lacked financial security may have had less freedom and additional responsibilities, leaving them with less time to focus on your own needs and personal development. There is an exception to this, as some people grew up with overinvolved guardians or were infantilized, leading to activities and interests being restricted.

INDIVIDUAL FACTORS

DEVELOPMENTAL STAGE

According to Erik Erikson’s Eight Stages of Development, challenges that don’t fully resolve in early life stages may influence you in your later stages, affecting your ability to function as a parent.


For those with guardians who experienced adversities in their younger years like poverty, their own family conflict, this may have played a part in their ability to nurture their children, unintentionally passing harmful patterns.

INDIVIDUAL RESPONSE

The way a child was raised does not determine their future. As individuals grow up and mature, they gain clarity on their own boundaries, self awareness, and communication skills.


Though there are moments where the effects of enmeshment persists, growth is still possible and we are not stuck repeating the same unhealthy patterns.

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